I guess my question is: what is monogamy? does it mean only loving one person? because that's kinda bullshit, isn't it? I'm not sure the world is ready for the true polyamory - which is the love of everything. it's incredibly intense. but I DO know who I'm going to take care of it comes down to a choice. so is THAT monogamy? the act of choosing someone over another, if it were necessary? hmm. maybe. although we don't need to make a permanent choice, do we? like. I can give attention and time to multiple people, and love them all deeply. but is it the commitment to giving, I guess, the most attention and time (ie: love) to one *person*, that makes one "monogamous"? what about the time I spend with the birds? the wind? myself? the sweater I've owned and worn regularly for 30+ years that's falling apart? it's caressed me more than even the wind or my partner. ;)
i'd say monogamy, in this context, is a fairly strict social contract about behavior that two people enter into. the brush strokes are tacitly contained in the word and have to do with boundaries about sex and a few other things. the specifics are for the two people in question to fully specify. i think the most important feature, though, it is that about action above all. so, it isn't exactly about loving only one person, especially not if we consider it across time or if we consider all the potential loves one might love, like the wind and the birds.
the world has always been ready for universal love, only not everyone at the same time.
'i think the most important feature, though, it is that about action above all.' agreed. this is true of all relationship, I suppose. I sometimes think that's the problem with the whole monogamy/polygamy debate. because we are intricately connected in relationship to so many people. but really, so much of what I see represented in polyamory is simply the permission to have sex with multiple people. and honestly that's an easy choice. what's more important is how we show up for one another. and we're always going to prioritize one person over another. we just are. does that make us monogamous? I dunno.
I guess my question is: what is monogamy? does it mean only loving one person? because that's kinda bullshit, isn't it? I'm not sure the world is ready for the true polyamory - which is the love of everything. it's incredibly intense. but I DO know who I'm going to take care of it comes down to a choice. so is THAT monogamy? the act of choosing someone over another, if it were necessary? hmm. maybe. although we don't need to make a permanent choice, do we? like. I can give attention and time to multiple people, and love them all deeply. but is it the commitment to giving, I guess, the most attention and time (ie: love) to one *person*, that makes one "monogamous"? what about the time I spend with the birds? the wind? myself? the sweater I've owned and worn regularly for 30+ years that's falling apart? it's caressed me more than even the wind or my partner. ;)
very interesting question, indeed!
i'd say monogamy, in this context, is a fairly strict social contract about behavior that two people enter into. the brush strokes are tacitly contained in the word and have to do with boundaries about sex and a few other things. the specifics are for the two people in question to fully specify. i think the most important feature, though, it is that about action above all. so, it isn't exactly about loving only one person, especially not if we consider it across time or if we consider all the potential loves one might love, like the wind and the birds.
the world has always been ready for universal love, only not everyone at the same time.
'i think the most important feature, though, it is that about action above all.' agreed. this is true of all relationship, I suppose. I sometimes think that's the problem with the whole monogamy/polygamy debate. because we are intricately connected in relationship to so many people. but really, so much of what I see represented in polyamory is simply the permission to have sex with multiple people. and honestly that's an easy choice. what's more important is how we show up for one another. and we're always going to prioritize one person over another. we just are. does that make us monogamous? I dunno.